Being Good to Relatives
Ulama Institute #1
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The Qur’aan and many ahaadeeth remind Muslims of their responsibility towards their relatives.
- The command to maintain good relations with one’s family is an injunction that has been stressed upon in the Qur’aan and the sunnah of the Prophet. Muslims have been directed on the importance of maintaining family ties and have been warned about the severe consequences for severing ties with family members.
- Maintaining family ties involves to being good to one’s brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, father and mother. It also extends beyond the group of one’s immediate family and includes the members of a person’s extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins and other similar relatives are included amongst those whom Allah ﷻ commands Muslims to maintain family ties with. In the Qur’aan, the word used is ‘arhaam’ (wombs), which refers to relatives to whom a person is linked by blood ties, whether they are his/her heirs or not.
Allah ﷻ speaks about our relationship with our relatives in the Qur’aan and says:
وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامِ (سورة النساء : ١ )
“And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs.” [Soorat an-Nisaa: 1]
Allah ﷻ also says:
وَأُولُوا الْأَرْحَامِ بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلَى بِبَعْضِ فِي كِتَابِ اللهِ (سورة الأحزاب : ٦)
“And those of [blood] relationship are more entitled [to inheritance] in the decree of Allah.” [Soorat al-Ahzaab: 6]
أَنَا الرَّحْمَنُ وَهِيَ الرَّحْمُ شَقَقْتُ لَهَا إِسْمَا مِنْ اِسْمِي فَمَنْ وَصَلَهَا وَصَدْتُهُ وَ مَنْ قَطَعَهَا بَثْتُهُ (أبو داوود)
“I am the Most Merciful (Ar-Rahmaan). As for kinship (Ar-Rahm), I have derived its name from one of My Names. Whoever keeps its ties, I shall keep his ties. And whoever cuts it off, I shall cut him off” [Aboo Daawood]
- Islam has recognizes the ties of kinship in a way that is unique, because it commands Muslims to uphold the ties of kinship (relationships), and condemns the one who breaks this tie. Kind treatment of relatives is one degree below kind treatment of parents, on the scale of human relationships as defined by the Qur’aan. From this point kindness and respect extends to include all those needy members of the greater human family. This is conferms to human nature which more readily shows kindness to those who are closer relatives. It is also in agreement with the overall Islamic system. Responsibility starts with the family and is then extended to relatives and then society at large.
The Prophet ﷺ was asked with whom one should be most dutiful. The Prophet ﷺ answered:
أمك ثم أمك ثم أمك ثم أبَاكَ ثم الأقْرَبَ فَالْأَقْرَبُ (البخاري ومسلم)
“Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then those closest to you followed by those next closest to you.” [al-Bukhaari & Muslim]
- The Prophet ﷺ was also asked about the deeds that would take one to Paradise and keep one far from Hell, and he answered:
تَعْبُدُ اللهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكَ بِهِ شيئاً وَتُقِيمُ الصَّلاةَ وَتُؤْتِي الزَّكَاةَ وَتصِلُ الرَّحْم (البخاري ومسلم)
“Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, establish the prayer, pay the Zakah and keep the ties of kinship.” [al-Bukhaani & Muslim]
- The way Muslims treat their relatives in a spirit of friendship and mercy, makes life more pleasant and beautiful. To uphold the ties of kinship is one of the major principles of Islam and was taught by the Prophet ﷺ since the early days of Islam. It is also one of the most important features of Islamic law.
- Upholding the ties of kinship also brings blessing in a person’s rizq (sustenance) and his life as well as mercy from Allah ﷻ in this world and the next. In contrast, breaking family ties will spell disaster and misery for a person, earning him/her the displeasure of Allah ﷻ and the people, also keeping him/her far from Paradise in the Hereafter. Jubayr bin Mutim narrated that he heard the Prophet ﷺ say:
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : لا يدخل الجنة قاطع رحم. (الترمذي)
“The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise.” [al-Tirmidhi]
Learning from the lesson
- A Muslim adheres to good behavior and manners with his close relatives.
- Islam recognizes the ties of kinship and condemns the one who breaks it.
- Kindness and respect extends to include all those needy members of the family.
- Responsibility starts with the family and is extended to relatives and society at large.
- The way we treat our relatives in a spirit of friendship and mercy, makes life more pleasant and beautiful for everyone.
